check out the “Evolution in Kwanzaa’s Observance” section
wikipedia is going down
stay frosty….. tiger force forever
edit 11/30/08……prank is down i repeat prank is down
Archive | November, 2008
Two Reasons To Love Thanksgiving
27 NovYou may be thinking that the two best reasons to love Thanksgiving would be football and turkey. But the real reasons are Rick Rolls and Turbaconduckens.
I will start with the Rick Roll. The Macy’s Day Parade was Rick Rolled. Sadly I missed it, cause I don’t bother watching the parade, but the float for Cartoon Network’s “Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends” came out, and then America got Rick Rolled.
Second, the Turbaconducken.. If you are a meat-hater, you might not like this idea, but it is awesome regardless. Now, you’ve all heard of a Turducken. A Chicken stuffed in a duck, stuffed in a turkey. I have always thought this to be a little stupid. But a Turbaconducken (which i hope is pronounced Tur-bah-con-duh-ken, and not Tur-bay-ken-duh-ken) is the same thing, but with all the parts wrapped in bacon.
for more info on this, go to http://bacontoday.com/turbaconducken-turducken-wrapped-in-bacon/. That’s right, there is a site called Bacon Today. I love the interweb.
I just want to thank Mick Murtha for IMing both of these links to me today.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
A Jimbo Slice Movie Review : The Rocker
21 NovI’ve been lacking originality lately so I decided to install a little weekly movie review segment. Enjoy.
So what do you do when you’re unemployed, broke & perpetually bored? Besides putting my clothes on backwards and pretending to be a member of Kriss Kross, I decided to watch some free bootleg movies at watch-movies.net. I felt like watching a comedy. Comedies are great because they are kind of like one night stands with middle-aged fat ladies. When they’re good, they’re hilarious. When they’re bad, they’re sometimes even funnier! Remember, comedies can’t give you herpes. Unfortunately they also can’t cook a mean omlette and drive you home in their Ford Windstar either.
Although it bombed in theatres, I thought there could be potential in The Rocker. I’ve enjoyed almost everything I’ve seen of Rainn Wilson (Office, Juno, Almost Famous, Entourage). It also has some pretty damn good depth in the supporting cast (Christina Applegate, Will Arnett, Emma Stone, Jeff Garlin, Jane Lynch). The only problem was that alot of these talented actors weren’t used effectively. Most of the punchlines were delivered by Wilson or Sudiekis. WIlson kind of struggled. Sudiekis knocked them out of the park.
The plot is interesting but predictable. I’m not going to explain the whole thing because that would be BORING, and luckily the good folks at Wikipedia can type better than I http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rocker_(film)
Few Quick Notes on the Film:
Getting Christina Applegate for that role is like buying a Ferrari to pick up a blind chick. Her character was interesting, just didn’t have many opportunities to be funny. Same for Garlin, Arnett, and Lynch. Although somehow Jane Lynch can be funny in anything she does. Shes amazing.
I hate it when movies start out with an extremely unrealistic gag. When Fish finds out he was kicked out of Vesuvius he chases and catches his band members car by foot. I know, suspension of disbelief, but there comes a point where it just becomes insulting to the audience. HE RAN AT 60 MILES AN HOUR TO CATCH HIS BAND!!! Seriously.
Jason Sudekis- Killed it. He had some damn good one liners.
There is alot of spontaneous making-out in this movie. Applegate makes out with Wilson because Wilson’s going crazy. Emma Stone makes out with the fat guy from 21 because he was nervous and never made out with a girl. THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN!!!! I should start telling girls that I’ve never had a handjob before.
Emma Stone is quietly becomming to fat guys what Julia Styles was to black guys. First, she decides to date Seth in Superbad , now she makes out with this kid. If she does a movie where she fucks Louie Anderson, I might actually have a new favorite actress.
By the way, let me just say FUCK suspension of disbelief. We know for god damn sure Emma Stone in real life would not kiss that fat kid. Nor would she do anything with Jonah Hill. So why are we to believe she would on screen? Let me tell you a little something from experience, fat guys usually aren’t rolling in the ladies. We roll in vegetable oil, and cry when we masterbate. We’re just lonely, platonic people.
ANYWAYS…GET TO THE POINT
Overall, I found it to be a movie that was a little lazy, but better than I expected. It did have some witty one-liners and a couple decent physical gags, and a great cast. But it did rip off School of Rock blatantly. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, they had this great cast and didn’t give them anything to work with. I’m glad I didn’t pay 10 dollars to see it, but there are far more worse movies out there to watch.
Loitering, Dewey Decimal Systems, Fat Perverts…Total Nonfiction!
13 Novokay, maybe everything except the Dewey Decimal part. Being newly unemployed and in limbo, I have a lot of free time on my hands. Last night, my braindead (but lovable) friend Emil wanted me to take a ride with him to Clifton. Emil has only three things he cares about, The New York Giants, 50 Cent, and The Howard Stern Show. Pretty damn lame. Artie Lange, of Beer League, Boattrip, Supertwink Howard Stern Show fame, was going to be signing autographs there. Artie is promoting a new book. The fact that he’s promoting a book kind of shocks me. He doesn’t come off as completely eloquent. He is a fat, lazy, hooker-loving slob, his demographic is a bunch of fat, lazy, hooker-loving slobs as well. When will his dumb, primitive fans find time to learn to read? 24 hours goes by quick when your eating bananas, throwing feces at your friends, and yelling ba-ba-booey all the damn time!
Anyways, We arrived at the Barnes and Noble in Clifton at around 5:15. He was scheduled to be there around 6. Emil waited in line while I looked around. Barnes and Noble always makes me feel creepy. You can look around and loiter for a long time, and nobody seems to care. But you always kind of wonder if you’re being “that guy”, who just kind of looks at books and doesn’t buy. It’s Kind of like turning over for a happy ending at a Massage Parlor, it feels somewhat wrong, however in the end is totally gratifying. I read a good chunk of this improv book written by London people. Pretty interesting stuff. It basically talked about shortform and longform wars (I smell Tupac and Biggie part 2) and the differences between Del Close and Keith Johnstone. While I was reading, I realized I was sitting directly under where Artie was signing books. I was listening to him interact with his fans. That man seems highly depressed. No wonder he’s on heroine all the time. He was phoning it in so badly, The New York Mets would have thought he was uninspiring.
Finally, onto the most important thing I’ve learned about Barnes and Noble. The women are bone-a-ble! We are talking the type of women who would make you want to rob a Home Depot just so you could catch a blumpkin. What makes these women even hotter is that they wouldn’t do that sort of thing. They’re intellectuals.
Which brought me to a sketch idea. Two guys get dressed up, pre-game some shots of tequila, and get ready to hit on some chicks, at (you guessed it) Barnes and Noble. They show up obviously drunk and in club attire, and they proceed to skeevily hit on women with book innuendo. It ends with one of the guys puking all over a woman trying to read a book. I just would find that funny.
My one question is, Who wants to hang out at Barnes and Noble tomorrow night?
