Monthly Archives: November 2008
Fragileis: a primer for new slang
Lesson 1 “Shatner”
shatner:
1 (n.) a shitty situation (ie ‘this party is pretty shatner’)
2 (adj.) descriptive term used when dealing with a douche bag (ie ‘man your dad is so shatner’)
note: the exact situations and persons which can be labeled as shatner is very broad and over usage is encouraged as much as possible. anything, anyone, or anytime that is shitty is shatner and shatner is anything, anyone, or anytime that is shitty.
HOWEVER this is not the case when referring to the man William Shatner or his career. When referring to this Shatner you have one of two choices “Mr. William Shatner” or “Sir”. nothing else will be able to represent the majesty of the man. you know probably it’s better to just go with “sir”.
still it is safe to say that even Will himself would agree that his overall appearance in the above picture is pretty shatner, also the lighting is shatner. that shirt is fucking boss as hell though
tiger force forever
safety nets and stand outs: a reflection on the 2008 Richmond Improv Festival
the festival certainly taught us a lot. I feel that the most valuable lessons are as follows
NOTE: the order of these lessons in no way signifies any importance or chronological significance. thank you
1. we are not a good as we think but have potential
2. we are evolving as a troupe, it’s come time to face that fact.
3. some of us are tightrope walkers while others are just safety nets
4. sheetz is the best gas station this side of the ‘james’!
5. we are anti-social
6. ray parker jr. was in the process of consuming a mountain of cocaine when he recorded the ‘ghostbusters’ theme song
7. the new fall comedy to watch will be ‘my hot daughter’
8. we learned ore about improv in this past week than we did in the past five years.
9. richmond, while kinda boring, is a pretty swell place. the people are a blast. also waffle house.
10. jimmy is somehow better at making mixtapes than i am. what the fuck!
now what follows is a list of stands form our trip. most are people, some are objects. the order is in descending from good to better to best.
10. girls in richmond that make us feel like we are at the 8th grade dance all over again. by that i mean making us feel awkward and socially inept inside. you know someone is special when you don’t know what to say back to them
9. chris from ‘hotlanta’ for making us unsure whether he liked us or hated us, though we are 99.9% sure he kinda liked us, but maybe didn’t like the cursing.
8. improv instructors that blow you’re fucking mind and show you that the road is just beginning.
7. ‘illegal refill’ for letting us smoke their hooka. also for being from philly, show these rebels who really know how to throw revolutions.
6. ‘cuddles’ for showing us how useless eric stallings is as a team captain.
5.girls in richmond that make us feel like we are at the 8th grade dance all over again. by that i mean making us feel awkward and socially inept inside. you know someone is special when you don’t know what to say back to them. but really did we stand a chance against girls with tattoos, monroes, lisps, or liberal arts/fine arts majors. no we didn’t. but i swear to god we are actually interesting people.
4. vladamir for being the only waiter at waffle house who didn’t have a southern accent. also for never bringing brown his order of grits.
3. Bonnie Tyler for teaching us to believe even when up against all odds. we needed a hero but we got a heroine
2. Curtis for having the courage to acknowledge us in front of his co-workers as we walked into the hotel with four cases of beer.
and the most stand up of the stand up persons at RIF 2008 as judged by Death By Improv!
1. jesse for being the only person who truly liked our show. also for being the only guy who probably could have gotten us pot/weed. we salute you, wandering spirit!
stay frosty true believers
tiger force forever
The RIF Made me Feel Good Inside!
What an incredible time! Who needs vacations when you have improv festivals? It kind of sounds weird, but I think I would rather be doing improv in Virginia then to spend a weekend in Miami. The car ride down was a blast, we were funnier on the car ride down then we were in the festival. From Bonnie Tyler to The Mason-Dixon line, Decoy Museums and Blumpkins , the trip felt like an hour drive because we kept ourselves entertained.
We arrived at about 11:30 on Thursday, where we were met by Curtis. Curtis seemed to hate three things in life, people, his job, and getting people change. The four of us talked for a while before we went to bed, but there was one thing that wasn’t mentioned. That thing was the fact that Hochman snores. Now I know there’s nothing he can do to make himself not snore, but it was the fucking loudest snores i’ve ever heard. Josh and Brown totally sandbagged me! I layed in bed listening to the Guns and Roses concert (Aka Hochmans Constricted Breathing Concert), while the other 3 eventually woke.
Friday morning we headed over to ComedySportz where we met a myriad of awesome people. We did some workshopping to start the day, and I have to say that our teachers were incredible. I legitimately learned more in 2 days than I have in the year I’ve done improv. I had some fun performers to work with as well.
After a couple of Michael Phelps type laps in the pool, it was time to get back to ComedySportz and get ready for our performance. We didn’t do that well, but we went down swinging. I was really bummed initially, but the experience was valuable.
Saturday, we drank. A lot.
Sunday, we ate Waffle House. Fin.
sherman’s march to richmond
we few and proud carpetbaggers have arrived in the former heart of the confederacy.
we have the moves and now we have a festival entrance song
it’s on!
Is there something wrong with the earth’s gravitational pull in 1985?
Remember Remember The Fifth of November.
I sent out a text today when i realized that myself and most of my friends did not. My friend Lou then responded with ‘ I thought you meant the interdimentional route of all time travel. Nov 5 1955!’
I was referring to Guy Fawkes Day and the Gunpoweder Plot. He of course is referring to Back To The Future, the day doc brown envisioned the flux capacitor, and the day marty travelled to when escaping from terrorists in a VW van.
This led me to wikipedia BTTF, and I discovered that while Michael J. Fox was the first choice, he was not the first cast in the role of Marty McFly. Eric Stoltz (Mask) was cast when Fox was unavailble due to his Family Ties shooting schedule. Stoltz was replaced when Fox became available and when it was decided that he had been playing the role too dramatically. When he left the project, so did his skateboard double Tony Hawk.
I also found out, that Christopher Lloyd was not the first choice for Doc Brown. John Lithgow was. Lithgow has had a very diverse career, including creating a childrens album (pictured above). Imagine what BTTF would have been like with Stoltz and Lithgow …. I can’t even rap my head around it.
