I know that’s a wordy title for the post. Shut up. Let’s see what bring people to this little corner of the tubes:
The top result that brings people here is “death by improv”. That means we’re doing something right. Below that is “improv badge”, which is either a badas Boy Scout award or a badass Pokemon award. I’m not entirely sure which. Once we get underneath these, though, we reach the seedy underbelly of the web. A place where unkempt digital men in digital dark alleys open their digital trenchcoat and ask if you want to buy a digital watch.
Someone came here by searching for “Tim Conway improv”. Whoever that was was surely driven away by my firey critique of Dorf On Golf. I pride myself on hitting the hard targets.
“bttw is there something wrong with the earth?” brought some poor soul here. “By the the way”? Or was he trying to say something else? I’ll guess he meant “by the thuggin’ way”, because I’m a G, and because it is bitter, and because it is my heart.
“lee loose boot”-I hope whoever this was was trying to find a sickening Lee Marvin fetish site.
“singer michael hochman nj”-clearly someone who’s never seen us do ABC Opera.
“BSPit”-wow, the past is trying to reach us! Maybe I’ll tell them the winning lotto numbers and cash in.
“dorf costumes like tim conway”-Again, confusion sets in. Are they looking for Dorf costumes similar to what Tim Conway wears? Perhaps it’s a warden at Gitmo looking for new outfits to further break the spirits of the terrorists. Or are they declaring the Dorf costumes are fond of Tim Conway? I should hope not-it’s hardly the most flattering look, on Tim Conway or on anyone.
“steve bisaha”-Okay, this may have been me.
“michelle baker theater”-Clearly, the first step in Michelle’s insidious plot to usurp DBI is underway.
“dr demento 25th anniversary collection mediafire”-I’d rail against this person for stealing music, but then again, should anyone really have to pay for Stan Freberg doing Heartbreak Hotel? A Freberg in every pot and a Spike Jones in every garage.
“what happened last night”-This search also leads to discountwirehangers.com.
“brother sat on my head and farted”-I really hope this is someone looking for stories of sibling warfare. Because if it’s someone who went to a Catholic High School referring to their sophomore year English teacher then I’ll be really sad.
“tim conways grandparents”-The top result for this search better be Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Wow, what do I have against Tim Conway?
“something wrong with the earth”-The presence of Ron Heaney makes me believe that the Earth is a beautiful place and worth saving.
Well I hope we all learned a valuable lesson today: don’t trust Tim Conway. Okay I love you bye bye.